Office Politics

I read a good article several weeks ago in Psychology Today. It was titled, “When You’re Smarter Than Your Boss,” and I haven’t the foggiest idea why I even bothered – I don’t have a boss, aside from my oldest cat. Am I smarter than her? I pride myself in being able to say, “Sometimes.”

Anyway, the article points out a couple of facts:

1. Relationships are never strengthened when one person lets the other know that they believe themselves to be the smarter one.

2. You have to find a way to let your “smarts” shine through without becoming a threat to your boss. Funny thing about bosses – they hate threats like politicians hate promises and cast them aside just as easily.

The author, Judith Sills (author and psychologist), points out that there are may, indeed, be ways in which you are more inclined than your boss. Maybe you add figures faster than he does, maybe your vocabulary is richer, etc. The ego has a way of taking one or two advantages and declaring themselves the superior horse in the race.

Whether or not you actually are intellectually superior doesn’t really matter. What matters is the fact that you feel smarter, because your feelings have the potential to affect how you treat your boss….which has the potential to shorten your shelf life. You have to be on guard against overreacting to errors that your boss makes, because (if you feel that he/she is beneath your intellectual level) you’ll be watching for them.

If you start thinking, “These roles should be reversed…..these desks should be reversed…these parking spaces should be reversed….these paychecks should be reversed….Who do I have to see to put me in charge?!” —you’re skating on thin ice. And if the ice breaks, guess who’s going under. Not the big cheese. Big cheeses don’t get wet.

Advice from the author:

1. Never gossip about your boss or try to lessen his reputation to co-workers. Uncool at best. At worst, they could turn the tables on you one day.

2. Use your strengths to help his weaknesses – without wearing a sign announcing what you’re doing!

3. Watch that your vocabulary doesn’t become too big for its pants. No need for a $500 word when a 5 spot will do just fine.

“Diminishing your boss’s real strengths, overreacting to his errors and resisting or resenting his authority are self-inflicted career problems. In themselves, they may be small day-to-day irritants. But they can add up to big time job dissatisfaction. you DO need to be learning something in your job. You DO need to feel personally valued. When you distort your boss in a negative direction, you make both less likely.”

I loves him dearly. Loves his squinky little eyes, his droopy little legs, his fat little fingers —

But an office ogre is anything but cute. He/She makes an already bad situation (which is being at work as opposed to being anyplace else) 10 times worse just by being there. They’re the sort of person that, when they have a sick day – it’s like a vacation day for everyone else.

We all know how to deal with ogres – AVOID them like a bad stink. But, alas, there are days when that just isn’t possible and they’re underfoot and underskin for hours.

A while back, Mayo Clinic put out a good guideline for getting along with co-workers. That guideline’s the basis for the following. It may give you a little inspiration for coping with ogres. More importantly, it’ll help you to not become one yourself – because if your ogre’s in your mirror, you’ll never escape him.

• Be positive. Smile, be upbeat, and greet everyone warmly. Not just the people you think can help you move up the ladder – be friendly to the ladder-holders as well.
• Learn to communicate effectively. Sometimes when we’re in a hurry, we only think we’re making ourselves clear. We think we’ve said exactly what was on our minds to say when, in reality, we only said half. Getting mad at people for not reading your mind is just ugly dumb.
• Be a team player. Come to company meetings and, by all means, come to work prepared and on time. Contribute to, but don’t hog, the discussion. Don’t try to always be right, and don’t try to always have the last word. Those are and ogre’s favorite tricks.
• Be modest. Don’t brag or take too much credit. If you did something particularly well, give yourself a chest bump in the mirror, brag to your spouse and then kind of keep it on the low. Act like you meant to do it – not like it so shocked you that you can’t quit talking about it!
• Respect confidences. If anyone tells you something in private, for crying out loud, don’t say it out loud. If the boss tells you you’re an assett to the office, there’s just little need to go to every person in the office and repeat it.
• Avoid bigotry. Never make suggestive comments or tell jokes that make fun of a co-worker’s sex, culture, sexual preference, race, or gender. That one should go without saying, but we all know there are plenty of barbarians running amok. One thing a lot of people don’t think of is this – if you’re in the presence of someone who is making these sorts of comments, their nasty is splattering all over you. Especially if you happen to laugh. Just vamose.
• Be thoughtful. Clean up after yourself. Knock before entering a co-worker’s office or cubicle. Treat basically everyone as though they were your equal – because, ummmm, they are.

The Office
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Who is this character, David Brent? Couldn’t tell you if my Starbuck’s parking space depended on it. (Make no mistake about it, I’d make something up – it just wouldn’t be correct.)

Actually, David Brent is a character on a British television series. But that’s all I know.

Anyway, below are some of the quotes attributed to the character, Mr. Brent, and at the end is a link to a website that’ll unravel the rest of his story, sould you wish to pull the thread:

“Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”

“Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think.”

“I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.”

“If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.”

“If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.”

“If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.”

“If you’re gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.”

“Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can’t do.”

“Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

“Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.”

“A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else’s?”

“Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency – welcome to a day in the average office.”

“Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.”

“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a LOSER!”

“Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man – more for leaning on than illumination.”

“There may be no ‘I’ in team, but there’s a ‘ME’ if you look hard enough.”

“What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.”

To learn about the character behind the madness, click HERE.

Joi

Think nuts?

While eatting Taco Pizza and mentally gearing up for tonight’s AI (chews nails nervously), I was reading over a few of my favorite blogs. One in particular had a post I thought you’d find interesting. Pearsonified: Best Damn Blog on the Planet is the blog. Chris Pearson is the blogger. When I first saw the blog and read its tagline I knew it and I would be seeing a lot of each other.

Here’s a little teaser of a recent great post: How to: Kiss Corporate Life Goodbye

” The guy you call “boss,” who incidentally wears a monkey suit every day to work, says that this year, you’re worth a 5% raise. Who the hell is he, anyway? Who is anyone, for that matter, to tell you what you’re worth? This seems like a ridiculous concept to me. Each day, you go out and determine how much you’re worth. You determine it by producing, by learning, and by creating more value in your life and your work. “

Gosh I like the way this guy’s mind works. Everything he says is dead on and the way he says it makes it a fun ride.

Click HERE to read the post in its entirety. And while on the blog, be sure you check out the “Recent Letter to Someone I Should Have Beaten to a Pulp” post. The antagonist of the post is one of those people who make you wish it weren’t illegal to give a comeuppance to someone whose uppance has come.

Taco Pizza. Check. Blogroll. Check. Link love. Check. Scared spitless for Ace Young and Kellie Pickler. Check. Check.

There’s a pretty interesting article about workplace etiquette on MSNBC.com. Some you’ll agree with, but there might be one or two that you respectfullly disagree with.

For example, the author recommends not wearing cologne to work, and while too much can cause headaces for owners of functioning noses, I’m not so sure I’d want it cut out all together. A little is kind of nice. Except for those cats who smell like they marinated in the stuff. I walked past a man in the store a few days ago that nearly made me pass out. He was a red-headed version of “Herb Tarlek” (from WKRP in Cincinnati fame) and smelled like ole Herb probably smelled. I was just grateful my husband wasn’t with me, I know, know, know he’d have started singing the theme song.

One of the greatest themes song ever.

Here’s the link to the article: Rude Awakening in the Workplace

Have an awesome week!