Office Gadgets

The following guest article was written by Holly McCarthy. I’m not sure I want to know what it says about me, but I think I love the parrot. My cat Alexa would make it especially entertaining – right up until my husband threw Polly out the back door.

There’s no denying the fact that the computer has made life more convenient and entertaining. But you have also agree that with the advent and omnipresence of this device, there’s been a proliferation of gadgets meant to be used in conjunction with the computer, most of which are more of a nuisance than of use. Many of them are linked to the ubiquitous USB port, the bridge that helps connect other devices and appliances to the computer. Some gadgets are useful, while others are just weird or eccentric and serve only as a means of amusement at a boring office where there’s plenty of time to kill. So here goes, my list of five universally useless USB gadgets:

• The Mouse Jiggler: If you’ve got the lazy gene in your DNA buildup and if you have $30 to waste on frivolous expenses, then this is the gadget for you. It moves your mouse around after a certain period of time so that your computer does not go into the sleep mode as you catch a quick 40 winks at your desk. It prevents the screensaver from being displayed so that people around you are fooled into thinking that you’re actually working.
• The Disco Ball: If you like blinking lights and think they’re really cool and not the nuisance they actually are, this gadget is your cup of tea. At $16, it’s virtually useless, except as a possible conversation piece that serves to highlight the fact that you like tacky objects.
• The Humping Dog: Now this is for those who like their daily dose of undiluted adult humor and certainly not for those who have a sensitive nature. If talk of sex turns you off or makes you go red with embarrassment, you’d be wise to steer clear of the desks with these accessories – the USB humping dog mimics a dog that’s having sex when it’s in the process of transferring data between your computer and the flash drive. Oh yes, did I forget to mention that the only saving grace of this gadget is that it has some internal flash memory as well?
• The Ferris Wheel: If you’ve got kids, this is one gadget that will entertain them as you work. If not, it’s just another distraction with its lights and the incessant music that it plays. One thing’s a certainty though with this $30 gadget – you’re never going to be taken seriously with this multi-colored contraption strapped to your USB port.
• The Parrot: The last on my list, but certainly the most entertaining of the lot. Polly makes life a nuisance and more than a little embarrassing for the owner of the computer by recording random bits of talk around the desk and repeating them at random intervals. If you’re a born prankster, this makes the perfect gift for those you want to embarrass, especially if they don’t know what it does. At $54, it’s a bit on the costlier side, so you’d be a fool if you buy it and then have the conversations with your secret girlfriend or the abuses against your boss on record.

By-line:
This post was contributed by Holly McCarthy, who writes on the subject of job search websites. She invites your feedback at hollymccarthy12 at gmail dot com.

Thanks, Holly.   But, seriously, I want the Parrot.