Progression Wake Up Clock

Ever graced HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER’s website? They’ve got things that’ll blow your mind slam out of your head.

Take this alarm clock for instance. The Progression Wake Up Clock wakes one up in style. Unlike its crude predecessors that think nothing of jarring you out of sleep, this beautiful and civil clock uses real showmanship.

From the website:

(The Progression Wake Up Clock) uses a gradual increase in ambient light, stimulating aromas, and peaceful sounds from nature to awaken sleepers. Easy to use, simply set the desired wake up time, place some aromatherapy beads (included) into the aroma bowl, and choose a natural sound setting.

Thirty minutes before wake-up, the clock’s light begins to glow softly, subtly brightening over the next half hour. As the light increases, the warmth from the lamp releases faint aromatherapy scents into the air to stimulate the olfactory senses, speeding the waking process.

Fifteen minutes before wake up time, the clock’s speaker generates the sleeper’s choice of soft, yet lively nature sounds, and at the set wake up time a buzzer sounds to finish the cycle. The alarm can also be used to awaken using only sound, or just the buzzer. Sound selection includes Nightfall, Thunder Storm, Zen Melody, Mountain Stream, Songbirds, and Ocean Surf. Four packets of aroma beads (Energy, Morning Caf, Stress Relief, Lavendar) are provided, as are 10 removable felt disks that can be placed in the aroma bowl which allow you to use your own aromatherapy oils.

The clock can also be set to operate in reverse, gradually diminishing light, scent, and sound at night to usher sleepers into a relaxed slumber. The nature sounds can be heard at any time by simply pressing any of the sound buttons, and the light has a night light setting as well. The clock has standard time re adout, snooze, headphone jack, and volume control.

I realize it’s Friday, so my defenses are worn down, but this just fascinates the giddy right out of me.

And, yes, I know that technically an alarm clock isn’t an office supply. But one has to wake up in order to make it to the office, right? After all, irregardless of a previous post by a certain young man, most of you work very, very hard, don’t you?